DRAFTS
FIRST DRAFT
Our first draft includes all of the footage that we filmed, the ident and archival footage. This brought our film opening to a total of 3 minutes and 5 seconds. Our main focus for improvement will be to remove and trim footage so that we can bring it down to two minutes. We have also received some feedback about changes we can make and some other issues that we could improve before finalising our work:
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Add the majority of the extra foley sounds.
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Add black bars to make it appear more like a film.
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Add more news reports into archival footage.
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Add titles.
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Make the music of the radio louder.
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Colour correct to enhance some shots.
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Equalise the sound.
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Remove the red and blue filters from the archival footage.
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Lower the siren from the archival footage.
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Change the way the title 'ONE' appears in the middle - possibly embed it into a freeze frame or on top of the archival footage.
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Rearrange shots and consider ways in which we can improve continuity.
SECOND DRAFT
We reduced the duration of the film opening from 3 minutes and 10 seconds to 2 minutes and 5 seconds. We done this by removing shots such as the drug/money exchange and making some shots shorter by a couple of seconds. We still have some additions to make to our film and changes to make in order to improve it, such as:
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Add black bars to make it appear more like a film.
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Add titles.
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Colour correct to enhance some shots.
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Equalise the sound.
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Rearrange shots and consider ways in which we can improve continuity.
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Attempt to improve the archival and make the link between his mum and the riots more obvious.
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Make girls laughing louder.
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(Possibly) make a fake newspaper about the mum and Mickey.
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(Possibly) add VCR style lines through the title 'ONE'.
THIRD DRAFT
We changed the style of our title 'ONE' - the colours and the font. We also added specific titles to credit the main actors and crew. We also made Mickey's voice-over between the over-the-shoulder shot of the phone and the archival footage longer so emphasise the link between the riots and his mother. However, once we analysed the third draft, we made a list of any further improvements we could make to specific details of the product:
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Reduce the size of the titles.
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Keeping the font, change the size and style of the main title 'ONE' so that it looks more professional and clearly visible on the screen.
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Alter the radio music so that the volume reduces and increases depending on where the camera is.
FOURTH DRAFT
We altered the main title again as we found that it appeared unprofessional and even rushed. The radio music increases and decreases depending on where the camera is as the sequence of shots gives the impression that the radio is based within the kitchen and dining area. We do still have some things to change which we hope will be complete for our final product:
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Reduce the volume of the radio music so that the background noise within the footage can override it and sound more diegetic.
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Change the order of titles.
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Colour correct within the kitchen and make the indoor lighting correspond the outdoor/natural lighting.
FIFTH DRAFT
We reduced the volume of the radio music but we found that it still sounded too clear and in some places, inconsistent. We changed the order of the titles and colour corrected / brightened the lighting in the kitchen. We still feel that we need to improve:
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Make the radio sound more consistent or sound more like a radio.
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Change the style of how 'ONE' is presented.
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Possibly extend the titles so that there are some titles after the title 'ONE'
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Move the director title to the right hand side of the screen and extend the duration of it.